Aquaponics Humor

It’s been a tough week in our household.  On Tuesday we had to euthanize our 13 year old Devon Rex kitty.  If you have ever had to do this you know how tough it is.   You essentially play God by ending the life of an animal friend and member of your family, knowing how necessary it is to spare them the pain of what they are going through.

I find that one of the things (besides ice cream) that helps me to get through something like this is humor so I thought I would dedicate this post to some aquaponic grins and giggles.  First, I’d like to reprint a list of aquaponic lexicons recently created by one of our most active members in the Aquaponic Gardening Community, Michael Cosmo.  I love really silly (ok, stupid) puns so this really made me laugh.

Aquapon: A human pawn manipulated by the Creatures of Aquaponics.

DWC: Deep Water Culture: A cult of unspeakable icky creepy crawlers with some pretty things growing on top to hide them.

Raft Tank: A magic illusion of veggie plants floating in space.

Vertical growing: Plants on top of Plants on top of Plants on top of… you get it.

Grow Bed: The out of control mass of plants in a big wet mess of gravel.

Tilapia: Creatures from another dimension that train humans to feed them and disguise themselves as helpless fish.

Swirl Tank: What you find your head in after drinking too much Aquaponics spiked Koolaid.

Vermiponics: Worms you idiot. Just worms. Oh yeah, worm poop in fish water.

PeePonics: A secret science developed by men to give them an excuse to pee in the tank since they aren’t out fishing.

BeerPonics: What came before PeePonics. Also exclusive to men.

PH: A great mystery.

Duck A Ponics: Bird pee and poop when men or fish aren’t around.

Commercial Aquaponics: A cult of seduced Aquapons with too much money and no place to waste it.

Fish Feeders: Successfully Trained Aquapons.

Black Soldier Fly Larva: A military sect of very small flying creatures.

Pump: Like a boat. A hole in water you keep throwing money in.

Free Gravel: One of holy grails of all Aquapons.

Bell Siphon: A magic trick.

Plumbing: A bunch of small plastic holes you throw money in.

Newbie: Your last chance to get out while you can.

Novice: Too late you should have quit while you were a newbie.

And recently added by the community members:

Ammonia – The evil force of darkness.

Nitrite – Darth Vader, spawn of the evil ammonia, even worse than his life-force.

Nitrate – Luke Skywalker, spawn of the even nitrite, but somehow born into goodness and light.

MizAquapon: Wife of Aquapon addict.

ACID a devil’s brew, used in an attempt to manipulate the ‘great mystery’…pH.

Not to be confused with, what the “Aquarian’s of the 60’s” used in order to ‘explore’ great mysteries.

And if that wasn’t silly enough for you here is what I believe is still the world’s only Aquaponic Music Video, made by fellow Coloradan, Aron Arnold … Enjoy!


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